Dating dealbreakers

Dating Over 30: Because dating is hard, no matter how old you are.

2014.11.04 00:18 Dating Over 30: Because dating is hard, no matter how old you are.

Dating Over Thirty is a sub for discussion and advice on dating and relationships for people over the age of 30. **This is not a place to post personals or "looking for" or hookups.**
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2008.01.25 04:52 Ask Reddit...

AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions.
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2010.08.30 08:08 taylornator7 IT'S TIME TO STOP

AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. Just don't be an asshole about it.
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2020.11.28 14:30 RemarkableStructure6 too young for this shit// post myomectomy// leave in a pandemic?

(mostly rant- 25F HL with 28M LL)
we just moved in together about 2 months ago, and there's always just the general sense that any decision is on my 28M LL boyfriend terms and accords. I 25M HL feel like I have no sexual agency anymore. I just take whatever I can get should it happen. we've had both "are you still in love with your ex girlfriend? to "omg that boy from high school was your ex? ...I feel surprisingly threatened by this as a whole queer woman." we've discussed everything, from my rejection/abandonment traumas, to his exploratory side (that he believes confirms that he isn't queer, but I still am not fully convinced -- I don't care about that too much, though.) but at this point, I'm less interested in talking.
now, I had a myomectomy earlier this month and was on bedrest from the abdominal surgery. he was incredibly nurturing and caring. I felt so much love (and so excited to have sex with him!)
so post myomectomy we're not to have sex for a month. once the month (2 days ago) approaches, he initiates, and I try to not be too forward (per his request, which I'll tell you about later) so I'm not dressed up or in makeup - there's big "take me, as I of the innocent gender am too helpless to ask for d*ck" energy. but I don't feel... taken. its 10 minutes at most with a gentle hand, which I appreciate post op... but when I ask for a firmer hand, he goes s*ft. I ultimately finish myself with a vibrator and he masturbates on me. I will say as a queer woman, non-penetrative acts have been saving us. but as I'm dating a cis man, I thought... things would have been... less................ like this. I just feel like I could have stayed with women or genderqueer folks if I'm not going to be penetrated and our relationship will talk about everything (too much).
Speaking of soft! before living together, there was a surprising amount of rejection. it's amazing how tenuous his penis is. I feel like im walking on eggshells, hoping no sudden movement will scare his boner away. its worse than a cat hiding in the closet.
now my sex confidence is so low, and I've been rejected so many times, that I don't want to dress up-- because then that's "pressure" -- which gives him performance anxiety. he mentioned in passing a few months ago that it would help if I didn't pursue sex with him so much and let him take the lead. but his lead is so... lukewarm. just sort of awkwardly edging closer to me. no finesse. no seduction. not even a candle lit. pussy just dry from the lack of knowhow. but I still take any crumbs I can, usually.
so fast forward to last night - the room is set up, candles lit, sex playlist playing, I'm in lingerie (but didn't shave my legs because who knows if his dick will work tonight) and he says he wasn't expecting us to have sex because we had a conversation this morning.
the conversation? that I was feeling a lack of sexual agency. a few months ago, he mentioned it would help if I didn't initiate sex with him so much and let him take the lead, and in my effort to not initiate sex, and otherwise feeling so much rejection, I would constantly pull myself back, wonder if I was doing too much, kiss only as passionately (or would pull back my passion for him to lead) etc., all the makings of a suppressed woman. that I was nervous about having sex again post myomectomy. and that I would like to iniatiate more. he was supportive and affirming, saying we're two adults etc and sex is for both of us, and that in fact he loves when I iniatiate, and now that he has a bag of viagra and recently got a haircut, his confidence should be up to negate any performance anxiety.
the conversation ended a little awkwardly, because I was bummed to say it. and his affirmations were nice, but I know his actions sometimes don't align.
so that night, I stood in lingerie, between candles, to my boyfriend telling me that conversation is the new reason we can't have sex tonight. literally WAP was playing. my life is a cringe comedy show.
I slept on the couch and now he wants to talk. can we stop talking?! where is the sex????

all in all, he is a great partner- nurturing and taking care of all of the household chores when I was on bedrest. I'm hoping post myomectomy our sex life will open up, but if yesterday is an indication, our bedroom is still dead. and even in a pandemic, that feels like a dealbreaker.
submitted by RemarkableStructure6 to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 04:18 Mobsteroids 23 [M4F] Ohio/US/Online- Life long, heart to heart, genuine connections are what I seek. Come chat, come cuddle and let’s see what happens! :)

Good evening Reddit, thanks for taking the time to read my post! This isn’t my first time posting here, no, but I hope it’s my last. With the pandemic and my current lot in life, I’ve been pretty lonely and absolutely starved for love, affection and someone to grow with. Due to a nontraditional path after high school and a gradual shift away of lives, I’m here again searching for a consistent friend and something more.
I’m currently located in the EST of midwestern America. I’m a sleep deprived night owl which in the past wouldn’t be an issue, but now is one. I’m looking for someone near by, in the region or completely understanding of the time differences that may be between us. If things progress, I’d love something physical (when safe! 😷) and in person. Regardless, consistency would be great. And please, no ghosting :(
Buckle up for what’s coming next! I’ll do my best to wrap things up quick...(ish)
What I’m Into, open to discussing but certainly not limited to
Me personally? I would like something that’ll last. Weather that be something casual or more permanent, I’m open to discussing and exploring it with you.
About me
YOU
Thank you, stay say and please wear a 😷!!
❤️
Please help me w/ my photo game
Mailman Puppy Bribes
submitted by Mobsteroids to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 04:04 Mobsteroids 23 [M4F] Ohio/US/Online- Life long, heart to heart, genuine connections is what I seek. Come chat, come cuddle and let’s see what happens.

Good evening Reddit, thanks for taking the time to read my post! This isn’t my first time posting here, no, but I hope it’s my last. With the pandemic and my current lot in life, I’ve been pretty lonely and absolutely starved for love, affection and someone to grow with. Due to a nontraditional path after high school and a gradual shift away of lives, I’m here again searching for a consistent friend and something more.
I’m currently located in the EST of midwestern America. I’m a sleep deprived night owl which in the past wouldn’t be an issue, but now is one. I’m looking for someone near by, in the region or completely understanding of the time differences that may be between us. If things progress, I’d love something physical (when safe! 😷) and in person. Regardless, consistency would be great. And please, no ghosting :(
Buckle up for what’s coming next! I’ll do my best to wrap things up quick...(ish)
What I’m Into, open to discussing but certainly not limited to
Me personally? I would like something that’ll last. Weather that be something casual or more permanent, I’m open to discussing and exploring it with you.
About me
YOU
Thank you, stay say and please wear a 😷!!
❤️
Please help me w/ my photo game
Mailman Puppy Bribes
submitted by Mobsteroids to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 01:47 throwaWayne2 Supposed to start my new job in two weeks. Was going to give notice to my current employer on Monday. Now I found out I may have a hernia, may need surgery. What do I do?

I've been walking around with this pain in my groin for a year and a half. I saw a doctor on Wednesday and was told I may have a hernia. He referred me to a surgeon who will officially diagnose me and potentially recommend surgery. As of this moment, I don't know for a fact that I have a hernia or if it is particularly dangerous.
My original plan was to give notice to my current employer on Monday (before even seeing the surgeon) and figuring everything out after starting my new job, potentially waiting until after the pandemic to have surgery.
Now I'm starting to think I should just tell my new employer what's going on and ask to delay my start date. I would confirm with the surgeon first to make sure I actually have a hernia before doing this.
1) If I ask to delay my start date, should I be honest with the new employer or should I come up with an excuse?
2) Is this a dealbreaker for a new employer? They gave me an offer in October.
submitted by throwaWayne2 to careerguidance [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 00:53 BlackRoseXIII Black Friday Gaming Rig for under $2000

>**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**
* I built my first PC about 5 years ago, and have only made a few changes since then. It has served me well so far but is far from the "set everything to Ultra" that it once was. While looking into updating it I realized that I really needed to start a new build, to take advantage of newer hardware like DDR4 ram and better processors. To that end, I'm looking to build something that can comfortably play newer, demanding games at high to ultra settings. I enjoy many open world games like TES and Fallout, Witcher 3, etc. I also sometimes play demanding online games, i.e. I recently started playing Warzone with an old friend, but my rig seems to struggle with it, even on minimum settings. I want something that will be relatively futureproof, allowing me to play new titles for a few years on higher settings without much trouble. I'm eagerly awaiting Cyperpunk 2077, and I'm certain there will be games released in the coming years I'll want to play on the highest settings possible. Bonus points for being able to upgrade the system later as funds allow. Hopefully that's enough information.
>**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?**
* I'm budgeting $2000 for this build. I posted around 5 months ago asking for a $1000 build but immediately after something came up and drained my funds. As before, I will prioritize cheaper builds that fulfill my needs, but if a strong case can be made for a slightly pricier build I will consider it.
>**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.**
* Immediately. With Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales I expect this will be a good time to build. Besides, I want to be ready for Cyberpunk 2077.
>**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)**
* I already have peripherals and don't need any afaik. I already have Windows, and will detail parts that can be reused in the appropriate section.
>**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?**
* I'm currently staying in Southern NH with family. The closest Microcenter is about an hour away which is doable, however I expect the place will be very busy during the upcoming sales, and I work a lot so it would be difficult to make that work. If your build requires a trip to Microcenter, I would appreciate it if you could provide an alternative part that can be purchased online.
>**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.**
* There are several parts in my build I believe can be reused. I'll try to list them here:
PSU: I believe this to be a good PSU but if 750 isn't enough I'm happy to upgrade. I'm completely ignorant on what makes a good PSU. FSP Group Hydro G Series HG750 750W ATX12V / EPS12V SLI CrossFire Ready 80 PLUS GOLD Certified Full Modular Active PFC Power Supply https://www.newegg.com/product/9SIABP94H11610?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
Storage:
HDDs: This is an HDD I picked up recently to expand my storage capabilities. Seagate BarraCuda ST8000DM004 8TB 5400 RPM 256MB Cache SATA 6.0Gb/s 3.5" Internal Hard Drive Bare Drive - OEM https://www.newegg.com/product/N82E16822183793?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
My primary hard drive is a 1TB HDD that is currently running the OS. I'm hoping to upgrade to an SSD but I figured it's worth mentioning. WD Blue 1TB Desktop Hard Disk Drive - 7200 RPM SATA 6Gb/s 64MB Cache 3.5 Inch - WD10EZEX - OEM https://www.newegg.com/product/N82E16822236339?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
Case: My existing full tower case. I can use it if necessary to save money but I'd also happily get a new one. RAIDMAX Cobra Z ATX-502WBU Black / Blue Steel / Plastic ATX Mid Tower Computer Case https://www.newegg.com/product/N82E16811156299?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
GPU: Current GPU is the Fallout 4 limited edition GTX 970. Should be exactly the same as the standard EVGA GTX 970. I don't expect to use it in the new build but I'm mentioning it anyway.
I also already have a wireless card installed, so that does not need to be included in the build. TP-LINK Archer T9E AC1900 Wireless Dual Band PCI Express Adapter Support Windows 10 with New Driver Update https://www.newegg.com/product/N82E16833704241?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
>**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?**
* I am not really interested in overclocking. I don't trust my PC knowledge enough to risk damaging my investment.
>**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)**
* Most notably I would like an SSD to move my windows install to. It probably doesn't need to be very large, since I have the 8TB for storage already, but it should ideally be large enough to handle the OS plus any more demanding games that I'd prefer to have on the solid state.
>**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?**
* I've always thought a full size tower was best for proper airflow, but I'm open to being educated. As for style, RGB is nice but entirely unnecessary for performance. If reusing my existing case I'd prefer to stick to the Black with Blue scheme for hardware to match the case.
>**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?**
* I plan to migrate my current copy of Windows 10 to the new build.
>**Extra info or particulars:**
* This probably goes without saying but the build should have at least 16GB of RAM. I've never had a cooling system but I'm interested in it. My PC is on pretty much perpetually, so it can generate some heat. This is definitely not a requirement, but I thought it was worth mentioning. If possible, I'd prefer a GPU with at least 2 HDMI ports. Not a dealbreaker, just a preference. I can't think of anything else to add. I think I've been pretty thorough. As I said earlier the less I can spend the better, but the "bang for your buck" rule applies. I'm hoping this flexibility helps. Please don't hesitate to ask me anything at all.
submitted by BlackRoseXIII to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 00:23 RogueGroup 32 [M4F] - Central Florida - Looking for love

Hello, thought I’d try posting here; I’m Kevin, and I’m looking for a relationship or something that could become a relationship. I’m not one who wants to date a bunch of people casually at the same; I’m not necessarily looking to get married anytime soon (maybe someday) but I’d at least want to be exclusive. Let’s just start as friends and see where it goes.
A little about me: I'm kinda shy and awkward, at least at first (hopefully in a cute way, lol.) I work from home and I'm short and skinny. I’m a big nerd and love video games (mostly PlayStation and Nintendo),board games, DnD, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and most anything else sci-fi or fantasy. Pre-pandemic, I liked going out to eat, to the movies, shopping, and going to Disney. I can also be kinda shy at first. I don’t smoke or do drugs but I drink occasionally. I’m very liberal politics-wise ( Trump supporters need not reply)
I’m looking for someone with a good sense of humor who isn’t afraid to be a little goofy and weird, (Not necessarily a dealbreaker but I do find it very attractive) who’s ok staying in or going out. I’d at least want someone who is kind and understanding with an open mind (doesn’t everyone 😄). Preferably between 26-33.
One thing you should know is I have muscular dystrophy and use a power wheelchair to get around, feel free to ask questions if you like. I don’t mind. (If your looking for a travel companion, sports-player, beach/swimmer, I’m not your guy, sorry. I’d watch sports with you if that’s your thing, but I’m not a sports fan at all.) I’m hoping someone will take a chance to get to know me because we could have a lot of fun together.
Willing to exchange pictures privately if interested (don’t worry, they are G-rated, lol)
submitted by RogueGroup to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 00:21 RogueGroup 32 [M4F] - Central Florida - Looking for love

Hello, thought I’d try posting here; I’m Kevin, and I’m looking for a relationship or something that could become a relationship. I’m not one who wants to date a bunch of people casually at the same; I’m not necessarily looking to get married anytime soon (maybe someday) but I’d at least want to be exclusive. Let’s just start as friends and see where it goes.
A little about me: I'm kinda shy and awkward, at least at first (hopefully in a cute way, lol.) I work from home and I'm short and skinny. I’m a big nerd and love video games (mostly PlayStation and Nintendo),board games, DnD, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and most anything else sci-fi or fantasy. Pre-pandemic, I liked going out to eat, to the movies, shopping, and going to Disney. I can also be kinda shy at first. I don’t smoke or do drugs but I drink occasionally. I’m very liberal politics-wise ( Trump supporters need not reply)
I’m looking for someone with a good sense of humor who isn’t afraid to be a little goofy and weird, (Not necessarily a dealbreaker but I do find it very attractive) who’s ok staying in or going out. I’d at least want someone who is kind and understanding with an open mind (doesn’t everyone 😄). Preferably between 26-33.
One thing you should know is I have muscular dystrophy and use a power wheelchair to get around, feel free to ask questions if you like. I don’t mind. (If your looking for a travel companion, sports-player, beach/swimmer, I’m not your guy, sorry. I’d watch sports with you if that’s your thing, but I’m not a sports fan at all.) I’m hoping someone will take a chance to get to know me because we could have a lot of fun together.
Willing to exchange pictures privately if interested (don’t worry, they are G-rated, lol)
submitted by RogueGroup to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 00:20 RogueGroup 32 [M4F] - Central Florida - Looking for love

Hello, thought I’d try posting here; I’m Kevin, and I’m looking for a relationship or something that could become a relationship. I’m not one who wants to date a bunch of people casually at the same; I’m not necessarily looking to get married anytime soon (maybe someday) but I’d at least want to be exclusive. Let’s just start as friends and see where it goes.
A little about me: I'm kinda shy and awkward, at least at first (hopefully in a cute way, lol.) I work from home and I'm short and skinny. I’m a big nerd and love video games (mostly PlayStation and Nintendo),board games, DnD, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and most anything else sci-fi or fantasy. Pre-pandemic, I liked going out to eat, to the movies, shopping, and going to Disney. I can also be kinda shy at first. I don’t smoke or do drugs but I drink occasionally. I’m very liberal politics-wise ( Trump supporters need not reply)
I’m looking for someone with a good sense of humor who isn’t afraid to be a little goofy and weird, (Not necessarily a dealbreaker but I do find it very attractive) who’s ok staying in or going out. I’d at least want someone who is kind and understanding with an open mind (doesn’t everyone 😄). Preferably between 26-33.
One thing you should know is I have muscular dystrophy and use a power wheelchair to get around, feel free to ask questions if you like. I don’t mind. (If your looking for a travel companion, sports-player, beach/swimmer, I’m not your guy, sorry. I’d watch sports with you if that’s your thing, but I’m not a sports fan at all.) I’m hoping someone will take a chance to get to know me because we could have a lot of fun together.
Willing to exchange pictures privately if interested (don’t worry, they are G-rated, lol)
submitted by RogueGroup to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 20:44 privatesucker 24 m4m - Looking for a straight guy to piss and nut down my throat

I’m the LAKEWOOD/TACOMA AREA and you Must come to my area for this If you understands this, keep reading
I have been watching some really hot gloryhole videos of this dude on Xtube and he has a lot of straight guys use his gloryhole and some of them piss down his throat before, after, or even during their blowjobs. I have never swallowed piss before but the thought of swallowing piss before a guy nuts in my throat is so hot to me and I really want to make it happen and no I do not have a gloryhole.
I know that after I nut, I always have to piss so if you’re not able to piss before I’m sure you’ll be able to right after. If you are a business professional type, wear slacks for work etc that is a huge turn on but that’s definitely not a dealbreaker.
I am open to any ethnicity and any age up to 50 years old.
You must identify as a straight male, have a wife, gf or single and date women only. I’m attracted to forbidden fruit and straight guys tend to be more careful, move discreetly and don’t take crazy risks. You must be DDF and covid free. Weed is fine.
If you’re interested and want to set something up send me a message and include your stats, level of interest/experience and pics and we can go from there.
I’m in LAKEWOOD,WA so you would need to come here. Check my profile for pics
Failure to send pictures within your first or second reply will result in an immediate block. I have zero tolerance for time wasters. My bio shows where you can contact me
submitted by privatesucker to r4rSeattle [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 19:29 SometimesSweetie Does his lack of communication mean he’s not that interested?

We met in February when he was an occasional regular at the bar that I work at (Alabama) and one night in August and he (26M) asked me (25F) out on our first date. I was thrilled because I had a crush on him ever since I saw him walk in the door. Since then we’ve continued to see each other have decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend since mid October. However his lack of communication throughout this relationship makes me doubt how interested he is in me.
When we’re in person he’s validating, kind, considerate, and a joy to be around. Our sex life is mind blowing for both parties. Everything I want sexually he is. I have really strong feelings for him, find myself wanting to say I love you often, but hold back because I’m worried he doesn’t feel the same. Because as soon as we’re not together in person I struggle to find that connection. I’m a type of person that really enjoys texting or calling my significant other throughout the day. Little updates and flirting really makes me happy.
Since the beginning he’s been really bad about replying to my messages and calls either a few hours or all day to respond. He frequently falls asleep while texting me even at times when I sent him a nude pictures of myself after we had been sexting which really hurt my self-esteem. It’s like we’ll be texting just fine for a short period of time then he vanishes. Is this normal? But I always told myself it’s not his fault he was just tired of busy. And normally the next day when he would reply he would be enthusiastic about the photos I sent him and apologize for falling asleep or whatever. He’s very much a person who lives in the moment when I’m around he’s never on his phone and he ALWAYS keeps it on do not disturb. His friends also complain about his lack of communication with them. Which made me feel a little hopeful that it wasn’t just me. (When he does text me he uses a lot of emojis and seems genuinely interested in my day.)
I do have anxiety disorder which causes me to assume and worry a lot more. I tend to read into things too much. I’m just having a really hard time understanding someone who seems to be crazy about me in person to be almost absent in my life when I’m not around them. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. Most times I feel like I’m chasing him. I’ve tried talking to him about this before and he tells me he’s just really bad about being on his phone and checking it throughout the day and told me he isn’t trying ignoring me.
Whenever I hear my phone go off I hope it’s him replying when most the time it’s not. I try to reply in no longer than 20 minutes max unless I’m genuinely busy which I would tell him about before hand. I see a text and I answer it. He just doesn’t seem to extend the same courtesy to me. When I text him now I try to respond really fast, I try to ask questions, or try to use words that make it easy for him to reply. Because every time I text him it’s very likely he won’t respond for a long period of time which really stresses me out.
This behavior makes me question if I’m on his mind throughout the day because he’s on my mind constantly and I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to me, flirt with me, send me cute memes. Anything. His friends have encouraged me and told me that he’s put more effort into this relationship he ever has before which baffles me. How did his previous partners deal with this?
How do I talk to him about this? How do I move forward in a healthy way?
I am hoping Reddit can shine some light on the situation and help me know what to do because it’s becoming a dealbreaker for me and I really really like him. He’s also going away for three weeks and I’m really nervous about it because of this situation.
This is my ONLY problem with him. Please help.
TLDR: my boyfriend is really terrible at communicating with me when I’m not with him and it makes me doubt his feelings for me. He seems crazy about me in person and then is almost absent in my life otherwise. How do I move forward?
submitted by SometimesSweetie to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 18:44 SometimesSweetie Does his lack of communication mean he’s not that interested?

We met in February when he was an occasional regular at the bar that I work at (Alabama) and one night in August and he (26M) asked me (25F) out on our first date. I was thrilled because I had a crush on him ever since I saw him walk in the door. Since then we’ve continued to see each other have decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend since mid October. However his lack of communication throughout this relationship makes me doubt how interested he is in me.
When we’re in person he’s validating, kind, considerate, and a joy to be around. Our sex life is mind blowing for both parties. Everything I want sexually he is. I have really strong feelings for him, find myself wanting to say I love you often, but hold back because I’m worried he doesn’t feel the same. Because as soon as we’re not together in person I struggle to find that connection. I’m a type of person that really enjoys texting or calling my significant other throughout the day. Little updates and flirting really makes me happy.
Since the beginning he’s been really bad about replying to my messages and calls either a few hours or all day to respond. He frequently falls asleep while texting me even at times when I sent him a nude pictures of myself after we had been sexting which really hurt my self-esteem. It’s like we’ll be texting just fine for a short period of time then he vanishes. But I always told myself it’s not his fault he was just tired of busy. And normally the next day when he would reply he would be enthusiastic about the photos I sent him and apologize for falling asleep or whatever. He’s very much a person who lives in the moment when I’m around he’s never on his phone and he ALWAYS keeps it on do not disturb. His friends also complain about his lack of communication with them. Which made me feel a little hopeful that it wasn’t just me. (When he does text me he uses a lot of emojis and seems genuinely interested in my day.)
I do have anxiety disorder which causes me to assume and worry a lot more. I tend to read into things too much. I’m just having a really hard time understanding someone who seems to be crazy about me in person to be almost absent in my life when I’m not around them. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. Most times I feel like I’m chasing him. I’ve tried talking to him about this before and he tells me he’s just really bad about being on his phone and checking it throughout the day and told me he isn’t trying ignoring me.
Whenever I hear my phone go off I hope it’s him replying when most the time it’s not. I try to reply in no longer than 20 minutes max unless I’m genuinely busy which I would tell him about before hand. I see a text and I answer it. He just doesn’t seem to extend the same courtesy to me. When I text him now I try to respond really fast, I try to ask questions, or try to use words that make it easy for him to reply. Because every time I text him it’s very likely he won’t respond for a long period of time which really stresses me out.
This behavior makes me question if I’m on his mind throughout the day because he’s on my mind constantly and I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to me, flirt with me, send me cute memes. Anything. His friends have encouraged me and told me that he’s put more effort into this relationship he ever has before which baffles me.
How do I talk to him about this? How do I move forward in a healthy way?
I am hoping Reddit can shine some light on the situation and help me know what to do because it’s becoming a dealbreaker for me and I really really like him. He’s also going away for three weeks and I’m really nervous about it because of this situation.
This is my ONLY problem with him. Please help.
submitted by SometimesSweetie to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 06:43 jumpingolives Girlfriend (19) said she will never marry me (20 m)

Me and my gf have been dating for about 2 months. She always jokes around about how we will “never” have sex. I obviously just took it as a joke but I asked her if she was joking anyhow one night over facetime around 2am. She told me yes and no about her joking which was a bit odd. She then asked me if it would be a dealbreaker if we never did have sex. I told her no because I was having a good time, but it would be a problem if I eventually wanted kids. She then said we would never have kids because she would have to be married first and Im not the man she’s going to marry. I dont know what to think of this. I told her when we first started dating that I was dating to “test the waters” with girls to see if I would ever eventually want to marry that girl. By this point in our relationship, I obviously dont have an answer yet and whatever happens happens. But Im a little disturbed that shes already decided theres no future between us when she knows why Im dating her. She seemed to just brush it aside after she said that. And even after that, shes talked to her friends and family about me and our relationship. But Im conflicted because I cant continue a relationship with her if shes already decided that its bound to fail at some point down the line. But on the other hand, I dont know if she just worded her thoughts wrong. Any advice on what I should do?
submitted by jumpingolives to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 02:40 ThrowRA29208 25 [F4M] East Coast, USA - 3rd times the charm?

Okay, I'm trying this a third time and hopefully my final time before I disappear into the abyss, haha. Also, Happy Turkey Day to anyone that's celebrating it today!
About Me
About You? I do prefer guys who are taller than me, preferably older than me (23-28 is a comfortable range), and have somewhat similar core values, interests, etc. Distance isn't really a dealbreaker as I've done LDR in the past, but obviously the closer you live, the better. Ethnicity is not an issue for me either. I've had crushes on white guys, gone on dates with Asians, and been in relationships with Hispanics so I assure you I'm not just saying that. Lastly, I am looking for a serious/long-term relationship. I'm not into hookup culture nor do I partake in FWB arrangements so if you're interested in any of that, I am not the girl for you. Friendships, however, are always welcome.
If you made it to the end of this post, NICE. Feel free to send me a chat or message with a picture of yourself attached, I'll be glad to hear from you. Let's get to know each other, okay?
submitted by ThrowRA29208 to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 21:29 fpessoa7 Have you ever been rejected after sharing your past sexual/dating experiences?

Back when I was 28 I was rejected by a woman after sharing with her that I had dated for a few months with a prostitute. I wasn't her client but still, it seemed to be a dealbreaker for her - I assume it made her feel insecure to know that I had been having sex with a professional, and that maybe she didn't compare... just as some men feel very insecure about women who have a lot of experience, and would slut-shame/reject them if they knew their past.
Have any of you been rejected by your dating past and, if so, do you think that is acceptable under any condition? Do you refrain from fully disclosing your sexual past? I no longer mention that this woman I had been dating worked as a sex professional.
submitted by fpessoa7 to datingoverthirty [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 18:21 BlackRoseXIII Please help me game at Ultra again

>**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**

* I built my first PC about 5 years ago, and have only made a few changes since then. It has served me well so far but is far from the "set everything to Ultra" that it once was. While looking into updating it I realized that I really needed to start a new build, to take advantage of newer hardware like DDR4 ram and better processors. To that end, I'm looking to build something that can comfortably play newer, demanding games at high to ultra settings. I enjoy many open world games like TES and Fallout, Witcher 3, etc. I also sometimes play demanding online games, i.e. I recently started playing Warzone with an old friend, but my rig seems to struggle with it, even on minimum settings. I want something that will be relatively futureproof, allowing me to play new titles for a few years on higher settings without much trouble. I'm eagerly awaiting Cyperpunk 2077, and I'm certain there will be games released in the coming years I'll want to play on the highest settings possible. Bonus points for being able to upgrade the system later as funds allow. Hopefully that's enough information.

>**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?**

* I'm budgeting $2000 for this build. I posted around 5 months ago asking for a $1000 build but immediately after something came up and drained my funds. As before, I will prioritize cheaper builds that fulfill my needs, but if a strong case can be made for a slightly pricier build I will consider it.

>**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.**

* Immediately. With Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales I expect this will be a good time to build. Besides, I want to be ready for Cyberpunk 2077.

>**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)**

* I already have peripherals and don't need any afaik. I already have Windows, and will detail parts that can be reused in the appropriate section.

>**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?**

* I'm currently staying in Southern NH with family. The closest Microcenter is about an hour away which is doable, however I expect the place will be very busy during the upcoming sales, and I work a lot so it would be difficult to make that work. If your build requires a trip to Microcenter, I would appreciate it if you could provide an alternative part that can be purchased online.

>**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.**

* There are several parts in my build I believe can be reused. I'll try to list them here:
PSU: I believe this to be a good PSU but if 750 isn't enough I'm happy to upgrade. I'm completely ignorant on what makes a good PSU. FSP Group Hydro G Series HG750 750W ATX12V / EPS12V SLI CrossFire Ready 80 PLUS GOLD Certified Full Modular Active PFC Power Supply https://www.newegg.com/product/9SIABP94H11610?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
Storage:
HDDs: This is an HDD I picked up recently to expand my storage capabilities. Seagate BarraCuda ST8000DM004 8TB 5400 RPM 256MB Cache SATA 6.0Gb/s 3.5" Internal Hard Drive Bare Drive - OEM https://www.newegg.com/product/N82E16822183793?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
My primary hard drive is a 1TB HDD that is currently running the OS. I'm hoping to upgrade to an SSD but I figured it's worth mentioning. WD Blue 1TB Desktop Hard Disk Drive - 7200 RPM SATA 6Gb/s 64MB Cache 3.5 Inch - WD10EZEX - OEM https://www.newegg.com/product/N82E16822236339?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
Case: My existing full tower case. I can use it if necessary to save money but I'd also happily get a new one. RAIDMAX Cobra Z ATX-502WBU Black / Blue Steel / Plastic ATX Mid Tower Computer Case https://www.newegg.com/product/N82E16811156299?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1
GPU: Current GPU is the Fallout 4 limited edition GTX 970. Should be exactly the same as the standard EVGA GTX 970. I don't expect to use it in the new build but I'm mentioning it anyway.
I also already have a wireless card installed, so that does not need to be included in the build. TP-LINK Archer T9E AC1900 Wireless Dual Band PCI Express Adapter Support Windows 10 with New Driver Update https://www.newegg.com/product/N82E16833704241?ignorebbr=1&m_ver=1

>**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?**

* I am not really interested in overclocking. I don't trust my PC knowledge enough to risk damaging my investment.

>**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)**

* Most notably I would like an SSD to move my windows install to. It probably doesn't need to be very large, since I have the 8TB for storage already, but it should ideally be large enough to handle the OS plus any more demanding games that I'd prefer to have on the solid state.

>**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?**

* I've always thought a full size tower was best for proper airflow, but I'm open to being educated. As for style, RGB is nice but entirely unnecessary for performance. If reusing my existing case I'd prefer to stick to the Black with Blue scheme for hardware to match the case.

>**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?**

* I plan to migrate my current copy of Windows 10 to the new build.

>**Extra info or particulars:**

* This probably goes without saying but the build should have at least 16GB of RAM. I've never had a cooling system but I'm interested in it. My PC is on pretty much perpetually, so it can generate some heat. This is definitely not a requirement, but I thought it was worth mentioning. If possible, I'd prefer a GPU with at least 2 HDMI ports. Not a dealbreaker, just a preference. I can't think of anything else to add. I think I've been pretty thorough. As I said earlier the less I can spend the better, but the "bang for your buck" rule applies. I'm hoping this flexibility helps. Please don't hesitate to ask me anything at all.
submitted by BlackRoseXIII to buildapcforme [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 10:19 ModeratelyWideMember People with common last names... Have you ever dated anyone with the same last name as you? How far in did you find out? What was it like? Was it a dealbreaker?

submitted by ModeratelyWideMember to AskReddit [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 04:01 yogagirl54 What is your most shallow dealbreaker when it comes to dating?

submitted by yogagirl54 to AskReddit [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 19:51 _peppermint I’m really struggling with this

My boyfriend and I are both recovered addicts. November 21 marked my 5th year clean and he’s been clean for about the same amount of time.
We have two kids, a girl who just turned 2 and a 9 month old. It’s really important to both of us that we try our hardest to make things work before going our separate ways... but something happened and I don’t know how to even like accept that it really happened let alone get past it so that I can move on from this. I fear I will be suspicious, worried, scared, unsure, etc for who knows how long. I have to get through this and past it for the sake of my relationship and my kids because I can’t be in a relationship of constant suspicion, distrust and stress.
Neither of us have expressed that we wanted to use, that we were at risk of using or anything of that nature. I would have bet my life that his drug use was part of his past and that he had closed that chapter and moved forward. I mistakenly projected my feelings regarding my level of risk to relapse as I have put that part of my life in the past and I worked really hard to do that.
Anyways, the other day I found supplies in our closet. He tried to say they were old but the manufacture date on the bag was August 2020. He finally admitted that he hasn’t been taking his ritalin orally, if you catch my drift.
I never tried it, I was never around it, I never knew anyone who did it and I think because of that, I’m not desensitized to it and for some reason it broke my fucking heart.
I feel like I am so stupid for not noticing, for not throwing away one that I found when we were unpacking his apartment that he had before going to rehab years prior. I didn’t want to just put it in the trash so I was going to dispose of it properly and my dumbass just didn’t think about it again.
I feel so naive and just stupid for not noticing anything. I don’t judge him or anyone else for doing that so it’s not like I look down on him or think less of him.
I’m just blindsided. We talked about this when we first started dating and I told him that I would leave him for this because I wont let our kids be around it. I feel like he made so many decisions and he decided to risk his relationship, his kids and our life together every time he did it or went to get what he needed for it.
Please be kind to me. I know there’s people on here that have done it or are doing it and I really don’t have an issue with it or think negatively of it at all. I’m an addict too like we are all on here for the same reasons... this is a place where I know I can go and be 100% honest about what’s going on and I know that people here would understand and could give me perspective on my situation.
I’m all over the place. I’m not coping well. I find myself comforting him. I appreciate any insight... I need to find a way to understand why he did what he did and ways to trust him again and not be scared all the time that he could be doing it again. Why is this such a dealbreaker for me?
I hope this is allowed here... I haven’t told anyone because as of a week or so ago, we’re going through custody regarding his son and if this got out he would be fucked. I feel like all of you have an understanding and insight that most of the people on relationships don’t have.
Thank you...
submitted by _peppermint to OpiatesRecovery [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 19:41 throwaway067354 Not your typical situation here but still need advice! Should I stay?

Throwaway so boyfriend doesn't see. I apologize in advance if this feels all over the place! I'll try to keep it short.
I've seen a lot of stories where there is a HCBM, step kids that are hard to deal with, or issues regarding boundaries. Mine is a little different. I'm looking for advice to see if it's worth working through and sticking it out.
Backstory: My SO (39) and I (32) have known each other for about 3 years. We were friends at first (I knew he was going through a divorce when I met him) and we eventually started dating and have been together for a little over a year now. Him and his ex were together for many years and have a teenage son. They got divorced as they outgrew each other and didn't get along with each other. I should be grateful that my situation is pretty low stress: SO and BM only talk when discussing their son, she is drama-free (at least I've never heard or experienced anything negative from her), and their son is super sweet, well-behaved, and we get along well.
My SO is amazing, supportive, and such a kind soul. Our relationship is strong, I feel connected to him, and we generally don't have any disagreements/arguments about much. We are both on the same page when it comes to the future (wanting more kids, getting married, etc.), our life goals, and we are both very much "We Are a Team" mentality. I should mention this is probably the most secure relationship I've ever been in - we both know what we want and we have open, honest communication with each other.
Now, to the issues. Like many others on here, I am very much struggling with the typical "stepmom/second-wife" problems: not being his first marriage (I've never been married), not having his first kid (I don't have any kids), his second marriage/kid not feeling special, and the thought of him being tied to his woman forever. I've brought all of these up to him in the past and he has always reassured me that it IS special and that he's looking forward to having another kid as he was working a lot when he had his first and wasn't around much and missed out on a lot. When he tells me these things, while I do believe him, it temporarily makes me feel better but soon after I go back to feeling these feelings of resentment. Admittedly, these feelings typically happen when I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed. To make matters worse, while he was with his ex, he got a vasectomy because he thought he didn't want kids anymore. We've discussed this and he does want kids and has decided he wants to get it reversed. However, this is yet ANOTHER hurdle we have to go through, a decision made while he was with her, and now I feel like I'm being punished. I've always wanted kids, I've expressed how much of a dealbreaker that was to me, he knows this.
I have made a few appointments to find a therapist to help me work through these issues. I've been looking at both individual (for me) and couples therapy (he is a big supporter of therapy and believes all couples should go to therapy even if they aren't having any issues). I am torn as I understand staying in this relationship will come with the struggles but part of me just wants to leave so that I can find someone without this baggage, however baggage aside - I consider our relationship "perfect" and not sure I want to throw it away. I feel like my biological clock is ticking and while I don't want kids right this second, I also don't want to waste my time in this relationship when it could be spent finding someone else who doesn't have this sort of baggage.
I'm just feeling really lost and would like to hear feedback from others, if they are in a similar situation, and if it did or didn't work out.
With all of this in mind: LCBM, super sweet SS, amazing SO, vasectomy reversal needed (and the unknown of it will even work) what would you do? Would you try to work through this? Will I ever get over these feelings of resentment and "not being his first"?
submitted by throwaway067354 to stepparents [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 19:15 RogueGroup 32 [M4F] - Central Florida - Looking for love

Hello, thought I’d try posting here; I’m Kevin, and I’m looking for a relationship or something that could become a relationship. I’m not one who wants to date a bunch of people casually at the same; I’m not necessarily looking to get married anytime soon (maybe someday) but I’d at least want to be exclusive. Let’s just start as friends and see where it goes.
A little about me: I'm kinda and awkward, at least at first (hopefully in a cute way, lol.) I work from home and I'm short and skinny. I’m a big nerd and love video games (mostly PlayStation and Nintendo),board games, DnD, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and most anything else sci-fi or fantasy. Pre-pandemic, I liked going out to eat, to the movies, shopping, and going to Disney. I can also be kinda shy at first. I don’t smoke or do drugs but I drink occasionally. I’m very liberal politics-wise ( Trump supporters need not reply)
I’m looking for someone with a good sense of humor who isn’t afraid to be a little goofy and weird, (Not necessarily a dealbreaker but I do find it very attractive) who’s ok staying in or going out. I’d at least want someone who is kind and understanding with an open mind (doesn’t everyone 😄). Preferably between 26-33.
One thing you should know is I have muscular dystrophy and use a power wheelchair to get around, feel free to ask questions if you like. I don’t mind. (If your looking for a travel companion, sports-player, beach/swimmer, I’m not your guy, sorry. I’d watch sports with you if that’s your thing, but I’m not a sports fan at all.) I’m hoping someone will take a chance to get to know me because we could have a lot of fun together.
Willing to exchange pictures privately if interested (don’t worry, they are G-rated, lol)
submitted by RogueGroup to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 19:13 RogueGroup 32 [M4F] - Central Florida - Looking for love

Hello, thought I’d try posting here; I’m Kevin, and I’m looking for a relationship or something that could become a relationship. I’m not one who wants to date a bunch of people casually at the same; I’m not necessarily looking to get married anytime soon (maybe someday) but I’d at least want to be exclusive. Let’s just start as friends and see where it goes.
A little about me: I'm kinda and awkward, at least at first (hopefully in a cute way, lol.) I work from home and I'm short and skinny. I’m a big nerd and love video games (mostly PlayStation and Nintendo),board games, DnD, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and most anything else sci-fi or fantasy. Pre-pandemic, I liked going out to eat, to the movies, shopping, and going to Disney. I can also be kinda shy at first. I don’t smoke or do drugs but I drink occasionally. I’m very liberal politics-wise ( Trump supporters need not reply)
I’m looking for someone with a good sense of humor who isn’t afraid to be a little goofy and weird, (Not necessarily a dealbreaker but I do find it very attractive) who’s ok staying in or going out. I’d at least want someone who is kind and understanding with an open mind (doesn’t everyone 😄). Preferably between 26-33.
One thing you should know is I have muscular dystrophy and use a power wheelchair to get around, feel free to ask questions if you like. I don’t mind. (If your looking for a travel companion, sports-player, beach/swimmer, I’m not your guy, sorry. I’d watch sports with you if that’s your thing, but I’m not a sports fan at all.) I’m hoping someone will take a chance to get to know me because we could have a lot of fun together.
Willing to exchange pictures privately if interested (don’t worry, they are G-rated, lol)
submitted by RogueGroup to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 19:12 RogueGroup 32 [M4F] - Central Florida looking for love

Hello, thought I’d try posting here; I’m Kevin, and I’m looking for a relationship or something that could become a relationship. I’m not one who wants to date a bunch of people casually at the same; I’m not necessarily looking to get married anytime soon (maybe someday) but I’d at least want to be exclusive. Let’s just start as friends and see where it goes.
A little about me: I'm kinda and awkward, at least at first (hopefully in a cute way, lol.) I work from home and I'm short and skinny. I’m a big nerd and love video games (mostly PlayStation and Nintendo),board games, DnD, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and most anything else sciI-fi or fantasy. Pre-pandemic, I liked going out to eat, to the movies, shopping, and going to Disney. I can also be kinda shy at first. I don’t smoke or do drugs but I drink occasionally. I’m very liberal politics-wise ( Trump supporters need not reply)
I’m looking for someone with a good sense of humor who isn’t afraid to be a little goofy and weird, (Not necessarily a dealbreaker but I do find it very attractive) who’s ok staying in or going out. I’d at least want someone who is kind and understanding with an open mind (doesn’t everyone 😄). Preferably between 26-33.
One thing you should know is I have muscular dystrophy and use a power wheelchair to get around, feel free to ask questions if you like. I don’t mind. (If your looking for a travel companion, sports-player, beach/swimmer, I’m not your guy, sorry. I’d watch sports with you if that’s your thing, but I’m not a sports fan at all.) I’m hoping someone will take a chance to get to know me because we could have a lot of fun together.
Willing to exchange pictures privately if interested (don’t worry, they are G-rated, lol)
submitted by RogueGroup to r4r [link] [comments]